Healing our woundedness frees us to experience and give more tenderness. But we can't (and are not meant to) do it alone. Words and songs can help create a sense of togetherness that builds community and solidarity. It can also be a powerful source of solace, comfort and healing at a personal level in ways few if any other things can.
Singing at Funeral services is something that's very near and dear to my heart. Walking with families en route to, and visiting with them right after a service is a beautiful blessing and honor I cherish. To be part of such a sacred and important life moment that is painful and difficult and yet is also filled with tremendous grace as they share how their loved one lived, loved and inspired them is beautiful and humbling beyond description. In each service, thanks to each family, I "get to know" wonderful people I may have never been blessed by otherwise, thanks to the words and presence of those who love them, people who may not have made news headlines, yet clearly made headlines in many hearts! Often when I say this and how this is one way in which they are already carrying the torch and expanding their loved one's positive legacy, their eyes light up! Some may even say, "Wow! Never thought of it that way!" As new hope is visibly and palpably born or reborn.
Certainly words of love and caring exchanged at a funeral from all ends are a huge source of solace, comfort, and hope.
Another powerful source of that hope is music.
Music helps us to make a special gift to a grieving family as if to "hug and console them" through music. In my case, I am singing, but it need not be sung or even reserved for that moment alone
So while I welcome every opportunity to sing at a funeral, I also want to encourage you to avail yourself of the power of music regardless of whether you will be singing or not. Afterall,. the best song we can sing is the love with which we live.
There are many ways to share love and tenderness through the music, whatever that looks like.
Consider creating a playlist with special inspiring songs that speak of gratitude, hope, new beginnings, or in the case of loss, songs that celebrate the joy of eternal life in Christ. Can never go wrong with songs about God's love for us: I invite you to check out I Love You More and Eden on my YouTube page (hope they bless!), and of course the many other great uplifting songs out tthere, some favorites Your Love Is Deep by Jami Smith, Who You Say I Am by Hillsong Worship, You Say by Lauren Daigle, Healing Waters by Eric Nuzum, Give Thanks. Other songs suitable for those grieving a loss can be I Can Only Imagine by Mercy Me, Don't Cry For Me by Libby Allen, On Eagles' Wings by Michael Joncas, Be Not Afraid by Bob Dufford, just to name a few. Do it for you, or do it for friend(s) or family member(s) as applicable, as a gift to accompany your heartfelt condolences.
Carve out time to spend together listening to the songs on the playlist or other inspiring songs in a setting that is uplifting to you and/or your friend(s) or family member(s) - the ocean, a favorite park, patio while enjoying some snacks and conversation, perhaps uplifting stories about your or their departed loved one.
Song dedication of one of these songs while out at a place where there is live music, or sent via voice text.
The possibilities are endless.
MUSIC HEALS
We can all agree this world could use a little more "ternura", yet sometimes it may seem as if we don't agree when considering the amount of hurt and heartbreak that's too often seen and experienced. Yet deep down we all are created for it, we are all created to love and be loved. Why then the dissonance, the contradiction, the answers are complex, but at the core one common denominator is simply that sometimes it's hard to give or receive love when our hearts are breaking.
We've often heard the phrase "hurt people hurt people". Truly if we better understood the connection between hurt felt and hurt created, transcendence and forgiveness, and the finding of true lasting solutions to our human dilemmas in our circles and beyond, might be at least a little less difficult.
Easier said than done? Yes! That's why we need each other, that's why we need community. That's why we need to become more intentional about being sources of comfort and consolation, and by extension, sources of hope and healing to one another.
While there are many paths and ways to achieve this, music can be one powerful source hope that can help to at least begin to pave the way to building a culture of tenderness in so many ways, including the powerful experience of realizing that no matter how things may look or feel, we really are not alone when a song puts into words how we feel as a reminder that if someone else wrote a song that describes us to a tee, then we certainly are not alone in our sorrow or whatever experiences the song touches on.
Songs can also challenge us to reflect on where we are versus where we can be, they can ignite or reawaken dreams. They can help us rethink our contribution, our mission and purpose and even help us to commit or recommit to making this world a better place, that place of compassion, kindness, understanding, justice, hope, peace, and yes, tenderness, for everyone that we all deep down yearn to see and live in.
What songs inspire you? Which will you be reflecting with today for you? And which will you be sharing to bring hope and encouragement to someone you care about?
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